Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I want it ALL and I want it NOW.

Today, on this the 22nd week of pregnancy, I'm beginning to get a little unnerved that I do not have a nursery for my son.  The room is there.  The ideas are in my head.  A few things are bought and waiting expectantly in said room- a swing and play pen are sitting patiently in their boxes.  We have a crib and a mattress.  We have a lovely little (albeit uncomfortable) rocking chair.  The patterns are bought for the crib skirt and rocking chair cover, and the fabric is chosen with care.  My dad said I may have the little table and chair that were lovingly purchased for me when I was a baby.  So the bones are there- the foundation of the nursery is there.  But the nursery room itself is still a guest bedroom.

The crib and mattress and tiny table and chair are still at my parents house. 
The rocking chair is slowly being mounded with blankets and other things that just need put away.
The guest bed is still up.  (With a ton of stuff stored under it...where do I go with it?)

And before I can go much farther, we have two sets of guests coming within about a week of each other.  Everyone wants a piece of the pie before the baby comes.  So this girl has to wait until July to rip down the bed and then start the construction process.

Another clincher?  No organization project is as easy as it seems.  Where do I go with the clothing that now lives in the chest of drawers?  Where do I go with all the stuff that's stored under the bed in there?  Instruments and blankets and backpacking supplies.  Where does it all go??  There's a small closet in the area that goes up the stairs to the attic.  It now contains my wedding dress and winter coats.  Where do I put that stuff?

So it's going to be that SOMEWHERE needs to be cleaned and dunged out so that I can move all the other stuff that needs cleaned and dunged out around so everything has a place.  AND I WANT IT ALL DONE NOW!

Energy.  That would be the third and final kink in this chain.  How to do everything when you have no energy to do anything?

I simply cannot wait to meet our son.  I can't wait to see his face and breathe his skin, and dress him in all the little outfits I washed with care last night.  And perhaps that's why I'm so adamant that this all be perfect for him.  For the little being that won't comprehend his surroundings for many weeks.  Because my love is so deep and so wide for him. 

This is lengthy now.  But it's my blog so who cares?  Next week is my five month appointment and also the second of three ultrasounds.  Never Google 22 week fetus images, because you're not going to like what you see.  Here's what a normal baby looks like:

Except my baby boy is completely flipped and his feet are where his head should be.  Imagine a little catcher in my belly- knees up, hands beside his head.  Also, my placenta is a little farther up- think belly button area.  He kicks and kicks, but Andy still can't feel it.  Last night we tried again and they're just not strong enough yet.  But they're there. 

Enough for today.  HE makes everything beautiful in His time.  Including my nursery.

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