Monday, February 13, 2012

Start spreading the news, I'm pregnant today...

NYC was amazing and beautiful, and Alex and Alyssa were just gems the entire time.  But what was even better than that was how Andy and I connected while we were there.  He was "on" the whole time.  When my mind blanked, his mind worked.  When I lost my head, he was there to um...pick it up again?  No idea.  But it was wonderful.  It gave me faith that we CAN do this.

However.  On the way home we were both DEAD!!!  Because we were literally on our toes ALL DAY LONG!  On our way through security to get to the Statue of Liberty, Alyssa had to go through security first.  She looked SO TINY passing through the gate!  And when she was on the other side, she might as well have been 100 yards out of my grasp.  I found this sudden panic coming over me, like she was no longer holding my hand.  She could be taken at any time!  I walked up to the sensor and didn't give them time to wave me through.  I needed her hand again.  Are these mothering instincts?  Probably.

Andy bought me a body pillow and I'm in love with it.  We also got the first installments in my new maternity wardrobe.  Having a husband that works at Kohls DOES have its advantages.  Jeans, a dress, a few shirts...which I come home and promptly tried them on with a pillow in my stomach area.  I'm such a dork ;)

Last night I had a mild panic attack.  What if I'm not really pregnant?  My doctor doesn't run blood tests unless there is an indication something is the matter.  What if the tests were wrong?  What if they were defective?  Or it was a fluke?  So with Andy's gentle nudging, I bought another test and took it immediately.  Of course it was positive.  But it gave me a peace, so it was worth it.  I think my heart may have been pounding harder with that test than with the original test!

I'm praying that SB will be healthy and strong.  No birth defects.  No health problems.  Please, just everything be normal.  I pray that my body knows how to do everything correctly and I don't lose this little sweet pea in side of me.  I love it already and it's not even here yet!  I stopped taking my stomach medication because it's considered "Level C" and I didn't want to take any chances.  So.  I'll manage :)