Thursday, January 1, 2015

Careful, mom.

Okay here's a riddle to start your new year:

What smells like puke, makes you go through half a pack of TP, and causes your out of town guests to stay longer than they wanted to?

Give up? That's okay. So did I. 

It's the GI bug, of course!! And when five adults and one toddler run through it in 48 hours, you would give up too. Did I mention we have one bathroom. Did I mention five adults. Did I mention I have a two year old who isn't well versed in the art of throwing up. 

Salvation came through a pair of these babies:

You can only listen to other people yarf for so long until you're ready to take a long run in a short gym. Speaking of gym- those are my husband's gym shorts I'm wearing. Because I own no more baggy clothing. 

When everyone left and we Rug Doctor-ed the last "just about made it"s out of our oriental rug...we knew we just needed to get out of the house. On New Year's Day, you've got slim pickins.  But we found a place with nothing but huge bouncy things like at a carnival. $9.50 per parent and Liam was free. Only thing is- people over 200lbs need not apply. 

Sigh. Welp. Glad I lost that weight. 

This amazing kid skipped the 4 and under ones and just went to the top of the biggest slides pronto. At one point, he had scaled the top of this very daunting slide and was sitting there patiently watching his 30 year old mother do her best to fling her leg over the top of this INCREDIBLY UNSTABLE blow up obstacle. "Careful, mom." He says. 

Careful, mom? Mom? What happened to, "help me, mommy!!" ??? Now he's like my mentor at the top of this carnival attraction??? Mom?

Earlier in the day I was standing in the bathroom trying desperately to do anything with my hair. Liam comes in and hugs my leg, "Happy, mommy?"

My heart melted. Yes! I am happy! You make me that way! Every day I get more attached to you and I love you more and I make you promise me you'll never grow up. But you will. And IF I've done my job correctly, my happiness and wellbeing will STILL be important to you. And BECAUSE I've done my job right, I will tell you- I'll be okay! You GO and do whatever you want! Whatever makes YOU happy! 

In the meantime...

You're going to need to go to Nana's now. Because you may be feeling better, but mommy is not. And selfies on the toilet are unbecoming. 

From my potty to yours, Happy New Year, friends.