Friday, January 20, 2012

I Know Too Much.

I've never been this in tune with my body.

I take my temperature every morning.

I look at my cervical mucus to see what stage of ovulation I am in.  (See, I told you this was going to get gory)

Is that cramps?  No, just gas.

Did I get my period?  No, just discharge.

Are side stitches a sign of pregnancy?  (Google, google, google...)  No.

Do my breasts hurt?  (honks my own boob)  Well, ouch, when you keep grabbing them like that they do!

And on and on and on.  Every new bump, spot, ache, and smell, I'm on top of it.  And every once and a while I'll proclaim from the bathroom, "My cervix is hard!"  Or, "I'm ovulating!  Maybe we did something right!"

I try to refrain from calling Andy "daddy" or anything uncomfortable like that.  Sometimes I do refer to him as "Sperm Donor" just to break the ice and make an uncomfortable situation the least bit more bearable.  But on his behalf, I think he's willing to wait as long as it takes.  I also try not to have any pre-conceived ideas about what Someday Baby will be like.  It's premature, I know.

However it doesn't stop me from looking up maternity clothing and cribs on Pinterest :)

Ooh, my nose is running.  Does that mean pregnant?  Got to go google that.  ;)