Friday, October 31, 2014

Remember that time I was a really awesome parent?

Liam celebrated 2 years of life this month.  What I really need is a shirt for him that says, "Mommy and Daddy lasted 2 whole years!"  Because this child is a daredevil.

Liam has been dabbling in the art of break dancing.  He does this little fall to the ground and spin around on his belly, and then end up on his side with his head propped on his hand and his feet crossed at the ankles.  It's really quite impressive.  He first did it in my presence at a wedding we attended last weekend.  My little, shy son went out on the dance floor by himself and just started busting a move!  It was the hit of the wedding.

Rewind to a week before his birthday.  Tuesday.  The little break dancing boy is cutting a rug, spinning around and around until he crashes, and he just grabs his arm and starts wailing.  Thankfully, this is in the presence of Nana and Daddy, and not me.  So we do what ANY awesome parent would do- we put ice on it.  Wednesday.  He falls again.  Inconsolable wailing.  Awesome parenting move #2- we put a bandaid on it.  Mind over matter?  Maybe it will work!  Thursday, he's running to grab his balloon, falls to the floor, alligator tears all over the place.  Sobbing.  Screaming.  I look at Andy- "Maybe.  It's broken?"  Awesome parenting move #3- calling the doctor at 9:30 PM- Do we take him to the ER?

Friday.  Day out of work.  Pediatrician.  X-rays.  Cast. Two week sentencing.

So in case you're math minded, that's FOUR WHOLE DAYS we let our son run around with a broken limb.  Think about how many times I grabbed his arm to prevent him from getting into trouble.  Think about how many times I held his arm while trying to get the wash cloth in between his fingers after eating.  Think about how many times that child told me his arm hurt, and we didn't believe him.

For his birthday, I put together a Mighty Machines theme.  I pulled out all my resources.  Working in avionics, I had access to an airplane.  (I'm also tight with the man who owns the airport adjacent to my parent's property.)  Knowing a few boys with big toys, I commandeered a big rig truck with sleeper cab, a HUGE John Deere tractor with grain bin (literally the tires alone are taller than 6'4" Andy), an awesome motorcycle, and you should've SEEN the look on that child's face when the fire truck pulled in.

Liam just kept going from one machine to the next, touching tires and blowing horns and climbing into drivers seats.  Cast and all.  At one point, I was standing at the top of my parent's property looking down at the fruits of my labor- kids playing, parents laughing, Sesame Street Radio blasting in the background...Hopefully this makes up for Awesome Parenting Moves 1-3.  But wait-who has Liam?  THAT'S RIGHT.  Nobody.  And in awesome parenting move #4, my son is scaling the tractor, trying to get in the cab.  Cast and all.  "SOMEONE GRAB LIAM!!!!"


Needless to say, my boy was a champ through this whole process.  It was me running around with the saran wrap and press and seal who had the problem.  The poor boy could hardly sleep, which isn't unusual, but it was even more difficult for a boy who sleeps on his hands. 

So okay, maybe I wasn't an awesome parent.  Maybe I made a FEW mistakes.  But who doesn't?  No child leaves childhood unscathed.  It's not an excuse to be a crappy parent, but it's more of a...consolation.  Because it's very very true that behind every amazing kid, there's a mom who is pretty sure she's doing it wrong.