Liam slept through the night last night. No tears. Not even a whimper.
I turned on the heater, and turned off the lights. Turned on the white noise machine and the projector. I came equipped with a four ounce bottle and a pacifier (and of course my phone- to give Andy the play-by-play of what was going on in the nursery). Oh, and of course, Liam.
He was almost asleep when he was finished with the bottle. Almost. I covered him up and rocked him (satisfying my need to cuddle and coddle) and prayed over him and stroked his little baby head. And then he was fast asleep. I felt so...amazing. Just sitting there by the light of the projector, rocking my tiny son. I felt peace.
I tried to put him down once, and he screamed. I lost a little hope. And it was that shrill, "mommy don't leave" cry. So I picked him up, rocked him again. Less than three minutes, he was out again.
I put him down on his SIDE, propped up with a pillow behind him. I left him lay on my hand for MAYBE 15 seconds, and then gently pulled it away.
I stood outside the door and waited. Silence.
I went downstairs and cleaned up my kitchen. Silence.
I watched TV with Andy. Silence.
I worked on knitting Liam this cute little owl hat. Silence.
I enjoyed some time with my husband. Silence.
This morning I woke up and peeked in to find this:
And then at 7:00 this morning, I hear little giggles and laughs coming from the nursery. He had turn himself around in the crib so he was laying short-wise, with his legs through the rungs on the crib and was holding on to the side rungs. He was kicking his feet and laughing and when I came in...well. You can just imagine. I picked him up and praised him for being such a big boy and sleeping again in his own bed. He gave me huge kisses, sweet boy :)
I regret ever letting him cry it out. I regret even MORE succumbing to the taunts of another mommy telling me that he was training me and I needed to be firmer with him. You know what? Shoulda punched her when I had the chance. All along I was saying- this isn't right for us. She just kept pushing until I was like, okay, we'll try it.
Let this be a lesson to you, young mommies. Follow your heart and your gut. They are both there for a reason.
We'll try it again tonight!
Liam says have a good day :)