Friday, March 7, 2014

There's no business like OUR business!

Here I am again.

Why haven't you written???  You may ask.

Honestly, life is just moving faster than I can keep up with it.

Since I wrote here, we have suffered as a family and we have succeeded as a family. 

We have had moments where money was tight, ("Um, honey, why is our car being repossessed??")  And moments where money was abundant (Tax return?  Don't mind if we do!) 

We have had moments where we huddled together and held on for dear life, (You mean you're shipping Liam to a hospital three hours NORTH?)
And moments where we have rejoiced in each other's arms.  (PEE PEE IN THE POTTY?!?!)

We have had moments where God has used our friends to provide for us, ("Someone has provided supper for us every night this week...")
And moments where we have secretly provided for others, ("Just stick it on their door and run!!!")

We have had moments where I've felt like giving up, (Your B12 levels are dangerously low, you'll need to come in for a shot daily for the next three weeks.)
And moments where I've felt like I've conquered the world, (3 pounds until goal... 42 pounds lost...)

But in the end, there's no business like our business.  My husband and I attended a marriage conference, which sounds like a huge snore, except it wasn't and it changed us forever.  More than months of counseling and ripping open wounds and feeling like the world was coming to an end.  We rediscovered ourselves and reignited that passion that was ours five years ago.  I'm married to a new man and I feel he's married to a new woman.  Life.  Is.  Good.

We were just sick as a family for the first time, and Liam made it through with NO seizures.  Literally I laid on my bed and sobbed audibly into my pillow, just willing his fever to break so I could rest and relax.  10 days later it relented and he was back to normal.  10 days of me just sitting there and internally shaking, waiting for his body to go stiff in my arms.  But yet, nothing happened.  An EEG showed he doesn't show any signs of a seizure disorder, just the random febrile seizure here and there.  Life.  Is.  Good.

I started a team for the MuckFest for MS in Philly in June.  My goal is to weigh 180 by that day so I can PROVE to myself that I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to.  Right now I'm at 203.  First goal is 200 and I can FEEL it.  So far 6 of my supporters have signed up for my team and I'm expecting four more before race day.  Some day I hope to say, "MS?  Yeah, I had that.  But it's cured now."


I promise not to neglect blogging ANY more.  I realized how important it was to share my feelings, even if it was only a few sentences.  At the beginning of the year I started this stupid thing on Facebook.  It's stupid.  But I've been trying to take more selfies.  I realized I hated how I looked SO MUCH that I was editing myself into someone who I wanted to be, but I wasn't.  I started posting anything and everything from that point on.  Makeup- no makeup- flabby legs- imperfect hair.  And slowly I started learning that I don't view myself as others do.  My worst pics in my own mind were garnishing praise from people I didn't even know.  Why is that?  Why are we SO hard on ourselves? 

I'm not that person anymore. 

I'm not THAT Elizabeth George.