Friday, May 25, 2012

Feels like the first time...

This morning I'm as nervous as an American Idol finalist.  I've never watched American Idol...but I'm pretty sure this anxiety is close to what they might be feeling. 

Today we meet our baby for the first time in it's debut on the small screen.  I can tell it's going to be a natural, because it's a little ham in my belly!  Maybe they'll think SB is so cute that they use it on a Geisinger Health commercial.  Or, or maybe they'll use it in their upcoming brochures.  I don't know.  Anything is possible.

I'm so nervous.  Why???  Why Libbie?!?!?  You know everything is FINE in there!  The baby is SO healthy!  I can tell because it's active and it kicks and it loves vibrations and sounds!  Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard!  I was listening to Florence + Machine this morning in the car and it started out with these really low frequency bass notes, and the baby JUMPED!  I was like, Awww!!!!  Sorry Baby!  I normally play music to it during the day and on the way home, and it will always kick me when the song is over.  Andy was playing the piano, and I had my belly squished up against the box.  And as soon as he stopped, the baby kicked me like, "Not quiet done with that yet..."  I love that it has a personality already.

I guess today is also the end of one child in my heart.  Yeah, let me dive on into that one a little bit.  I can imagine us with a boy AND a girl.  We have both names picked out.  At any given time, I could see an image of us pushing our son on a swing, or carrying our little girl in the carrier.  Introducing both of them by name.  Hearing them cry for the first time.  And now we'll know which one of those images will happen right now.  SB will no longer be "Someday" it will have a name.  It's all so surreal.  We'll call the baby it's name in my belly, and then when we see it for the first time, we'll say it's name and it will know who it is.  And that it's loved.

So today, mom and dad and Andy and April are picking me up at work (yes, I did go to work today, for two hours) and then we're driving to Harrisburg for my 8:45 appointment.  Boy I'm glad it's not any later.  I might pee myself from anxiety.  I might pee myself anyway, because hey, I AM pregnant after all.