Maybe I've painted a really poor picture of what I think of pregnancy, but now that I'm feeling better, it's not that bad anymore. In fact, I'm coming to really love and accept my growing belly. And I feel like I'm in some not-so-secret club, where we eat a lot and people open doors for us.
My friend keeps asking me to tell her all about pregnancy. Even the bad stuff. So I try and tell her what I can think of. Like how you tend to pee so much, wiping becomes frustrating. How you throw up so much, simple things like swallowing pills and brushing your teeth take official acts of congress to get through them. And how if you can make it through all the physical trials, the emotional stuff will begin to weigh on you. Will I lose it? Will I sneeze and it will just pop out? What if I'm a horrible mom? What if my parenting style doesn't match my husbands? What if my husband can't take my mood swings and up and leaves? What if I get depression after all of this? Am I being too much of a bitch? Will my husband still find me attractive after all this? Will my body ever be the same again?
One of the things I must stop doing is equating a growing belly with all the pounds I feel I'm packing on. In reality, I don't even look as pregnant as I think I do (probably because so much of my time is spent in large sweatshirts and heavy layers so people don't talk or think too much. I've been going to the gym, I've been walking, I haven't been pigging out, goodness knows. I'm just trying to avoid the mindset that I'm going to come out of this looking like a tank. I'm going to be fine. I haven't actually gained any weight, and I'm three months in...I'll be fine.
In other news, I ate 6 whole inches of sub last night. It was a record for me.
On Saturday, Lauren and I are going to go maternity shopping together. Now THIS I'm excited about! We're going to sport our bumps and waddle around like mother ducks. It's going to be fab!
I'm actually the happiest I've been in such a long time. For once my brain isn't focused on ME ME ME, it's focused on US. My FAMILY. Just can't wait to meet out baby :)