Oh What a Night

The thing about pregnancy, is that you get REALLY in tune with your body and your bodily functions.  You're keenly aware of the last time you threw up, the last time you pooped (and the consistency) what color your pee is (and you lose track on that frequency, although it's a lot) how much mucus you're producing on any given day, and how exactly all that differs from when you were NOT pregnant, just 12 short weeks ago.

And gas.

Your life is much gassier.

Which is why I was awake 4+ times last night, thinking I was having contractions and really it was just miserable gas.  I tried stretching, I tried walking it off, I went to the bathroom.  Every time I thought it had passed and I finally went back to sleep...there it was again!  (And this doesn't count my regular pee wake up call).  So today I'm dragging myself through life.

The Handsome Husband even woke up long enough to say, "What's wrong, Whoot?" But he has no recollection of it this morning.  Oh well, thought that counts!

PS:  May 25th!!!!!  Boy George or Girl George?  Oh how I want to share our beautiful names!!!!!!!!!!  Chinese calendar says its a girl...but we'll see.

Living on a Prayer

Today is 12 weeks.  Today is FINALLY 12 weeks.  I am so, so, so thankful for being pregnant for 12 weeks.  The vomiting and everything is pretty much over (it's been more than a week since my last spew) and now I just pee in excess.  Next week is Easter and "The Big Day"- meaning- we get to tell the world, and everyone will know.  And there will be no hiding anymore.

Which let me tell you- it's getting hard to hide this bump.

Every day has been enveloped in prayer.  Every day I pray for just ONE MORE DAY with SB.  Every day I want to just wrap my arms around my belly and never let any harm come to this little two inch miracle.  How can you be so in love with something that's 2 inches long?

My Handsome Husband has eased his way into fatherhood.  He is growing into the most compassionate man I've ever seen in him.  On Sunday at church he held little Kaden, and he was so happy.  Kaden noisily chewed on Andy's fingers and they chattered about how tall he was going to be, and how strong his legs were.  This morning, Andy wished me happy 12 weeks.  I could have stood and cried.  I think I might have to later.

If you don't like it, wait a minute!

The thing I'm noticing about pregnancy is that things can change overnight.  Literally- you go to bed one way and wake up another.

While I was sleeping last night, I'm sure someone inserted a bicycle pump into my belly button and started pumping.  I realize that I'm not "showing" per say, but I am full of The Bloat, which just never goes away.

One night you feel fine, and the next thing you know, you're puking.

One night you sleep like a baby...ah, ha, I get how that's funny.  Cuz babies don't sleep.  And the next night you're up to pee every 30 minutes.

Oh, and you pee when you sneeze.  Or cough.  Or let it go too long and hold it.  It's embarrassing.

I'm finding that if my belly is never empty, I don't feel as bad.  If I'm constantly snacking, it never gets AS bad.  But if I skip a meal?  No way.  Nothing good comes from that.  Which is funny because your whole life you're watching portion control and what and when and how much you put food into your mouth.  And although it still counts WHAT you eat, the when and the how much changes drastically.

Today I have a doctor's appointment, and I see the midwife.  Sandy, I think her name is.  We're reviewing blood tests from last time, and talking about healthy habits.  I'd like to bring to her attention that throwing up without relief is NOT a healthy habit, and something should be done for the good of women-kind.

Also, I'd like to take all the women who say to me, "Oh, I wasn't sick with ANY of my kids!" And just slap them around a little.

Our baby is a fig!

Happy 11 weeks (yesterday) to SB!  It is as big as a fig.  This week is the EVERY important week that "it" becomes a HE or a SHE!  Oh my goodness, I almost revealed the names just then.  Can I mention how obsessed I am with our chosen names?  Sometimes at work I write them out- first in printing, then in cursive, then in bubble letters, then like a child would write them, then with my left hand, then with a pencil, then with a pen...  Don't tell anyone.  It's embarrassing.  Sometimes I wonder if the girl's name is too long, but then I consider that it's really no longer than MY full name.  And it's DEFINITELY not as long as the boys name.  Poor thing will need to put a period at the end of it, because it's like a sentence.  We'll have to teach him how to write small :)

My appetite is growing, but my dislike for all foods in general is NOT.  So I'm hungry...but not FOR anything.  Last night I ate two pieces of pizza, but no salad.  Second trimester I'm supposed to eat 200 extra calories a day.  Are you kidding me?  I'm lucky if I hit 1000 calories in a day.

Yesterday Andy and I watched a video on epidurals.

Yikes.

That's one big needle.

But I think it's a choice I'm going to go for.  Because the one thing they say is that it reduces your anxiety.  I can tolerate pain (yeah, she says that now) but I can't handle being so scared I can hardly catch my breath.  If I can breathe and talk my way through the pain, I can deal, but I don't like being terrified.  It lasts much longer in my subconcience.  In the end, we'll see.

At one point in the live birth video yesterday, the baby's head was out, and the rest of the body was still in.  They sucked out it's little nose and mouth and it started wailing.  Wow wow wow...wow.  In AND out.  Insane.  And then she gave one more good push, and out it came!  Andy said I was squeezing his shoulder while we were watching and that I should probably stop.

One thing I'm excited about is I think Andy's going to be a great cheerleader for me in the room.  He promised to hold me while I'm getting the big needle.  I realize he's bracing himself for this just as much as I am.  While I'm thinking, "Can I do this?"  He's thinking, "Can I do this?"  I think the answer is, "Yes we can.  Together."  I'm sure we're not the first terrified parents, and I'm positive we won't be the last.

What a journey.

A long and winding road...

I didn't puke for three days.

My mother in law called to see how I was, and I joyfully announced that I'm pretty sure I was done with the trials of the first trimester.  At 11 weeks on Tuesday, surely the pressure was about to lift, and with it the constant frustration of carrying a paper towel and plastic bag. 

I was cooking again!  My handsome husband's cheeks were no longer caving in!  Oh the things I was cooking!  Lasagna.  Tomato soup.  Homemade bread.  SURELY we're on the home stretch.

Nope.

Saturday night I was feeling queasy.  I took a walk with Alex and Alyssa, breathing in extra deep to thwart the feeling in my stomach.  I drank peppermint tea.  I gulped a little Emetrol.  I ate pretzels.  And then, like a fool, I ate fruit.  Melon and pineapple and grapes and oranges and strawberries.  Not in excess, mind you.  Maybe one of each.  What in the WORLD was I thinking?!?

The list of places I threw up before I actually made it to the toilet was extensive.  I ended cleaning it up from the sheets, off the walls, Andy's nightstand, the carpet, the hallway floor, the bathroom floor, and the SIDE of the toilet, my hair, the shower curtain...  I was trying to hold it in, and all the while just kept swallowing it and puking it back up and I couldn't breathe and I was running as fast as I could to the bathroom.  I was sure I was going to asphyxiate and that was going to be it.

It was a horrendous experience.  I will most likely never forget it.  And neither will you, now that you've read it and winced.  (Hey, I promised you bodily fluids, didn't I?)  This is as real as pregnancy gets.  When people ask me how it's going, I tell them honestly, "I'll enjoy it more when I'm not so sick."

Sunday morning I woke up to find I had burst all the capillaries in my face, chin and neck.  Evidently this is common in pregnancy because your body is pumping so much extra blood through your body that your capillaries become stretched so thin that they burst if you exert too much force.  Who knew, really?

As an aside, I want to mention how loving and compassionate my husband was.  He's really working hard at meeting where I am on this stuff, and the fact that he's trying shows me he really does love me the way I know he does.  He's a GOOD man.

So today I will start the count again.  Yesterday; one day without puking.  Check.  Like at a factory!  -- days without injury.  Done.

Tomorrow is 11 weeks!  Bring it!

Oh the joy of a pumpkin muffin...

So Andy's mom sent us home with pumpkin muffins.  At my request.  Because she made pumpkin bread, and I'm pretty sure I ate an entire loaf.  So she sent home a batch of muffins, and I ate FOUR yesterday.  And a thing of whole milk.  So I took four MORE to work today, and an even BIGGER thing of whole milk.

Last night we told Nan!  She giggled and squirmed :)  It was precious!  She loves kids and she loves babies.  It's so cool to us that we get to give her another great grand child!  It's so cool to us that SB will have THREE great grand parents!  And active and healthy ones to boot!

The Handsome Husband is in much better spirits, God love him.  He's terrified, I know.  I shouldn't be so hard on him.  It's not like, "Well, the LAST time my wife had a baby..."  I just figured he'd be inbred with some pregnancy compassion gene.  But he doesn't have an overly compassionate dad, so how could he?  He needs to be cut a break just like I want to be cut a break.  (I can say this all now, since we had a good night...and a good morning.  So what if he was sleeping? ;)

I'm hoping to post videos of the reactions soon.  And for those I texted pictures of the ultra sounds, I have pictures of the reactionary texts too.  My cousin Jodi has actually been really great!  Of course she's been there three times, so she should know!  We're BONDING.  :)

This weekend we tell Katie, Michele and Tess (and I'll probably tell Alyssa as well.)  I might have to video that one as well :)

First Doctor's Appointment? Check!

Well, the weekend we've all been waiting for has come and gone.  We have heard SB's heartbeat and it is wonderful :)  However, it's still surreal.  I realize that I'm puking and I realize that my clothing isn't fitting well anymore...but it hasn't REALLY hit me that there's a new life growing inside me.

And Andy?  Well.  Something is wrong with him.  He's NOT adjusting well, and I don't know why.  He seems to feel his needs aren't being met, maybe?  All weekend up in RI, people were telling me to sit down.  Put my feet up.  Don't bother with that.  Just relax.  And then we get home and everything changes again.  I'm a self sufficient person- I am.  But I like to be catered to, just sometimes.  It's fine- I CAN do stuff on my own.  But at least give me the opportunity to refuse your help.

And his comments are SO biting.  "I don't see why you're throwing up ALL the time."  "I'd cook for myself, but I can't even cook anything without you puking.  I should just move out for the next three weeks."  "Maybe I'll help you once you're too big to move."

Who IS this man?

And I try not to cry in front of him.  But sometimes I can't help it.  He's just so MEAN.

I don't mean to speak ill of my husband, I really don't.  But I just don't know what's wrong with him.
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Okay, I'm done with that.

Everyone was really excited up in RI!  Even Dan, which was a big surprise to us.  He was already telling us what our baby HAD to like.  Even if it's a girl.

And of course Cathy was crying and hugging and kissing my belly!  (It's funny to have people kissing your belly when it's not really showing, just fat...Here!  Kiss my fat!)

I'll have videos of those reveals later.

AND we told the Dunn's last night.  I gave Alyssa the pictures and said that if she could guess what they were of, she would get a big surprise.  So she flipped the picture over and looked at our ultrasound, and said, "It's a baby in a belly."  And then her eyes got REALLY big, as it hit her... and I said, "It's a baby in MY belly!  I'm the mommy!"  So she just started running around from room to room!  And then she waved her hand in front of my face and was like, "Libbie?  Is that really you?!"  Oh my goodness, it was TOO GREAT!  And Alex was excited in his own calculated way.  At night they both prayed that it was a boy/girl respectively, of course.  It was wonderful, and I think just what we wanted.  :)

Tonight we tell my nan, and the excitement continues.