Well, now THAT'S over with

Since the doctor's appointment is over- and my hands have stopped shaking- and my stomach has calmed down quite a bit...I can finally say (with a quivering voice) that we're doing this.  We're ACTUALLY doing this.

And yet the biggest thing that stuck out to me during the visit is that Dr. Mantione sat on the foot stool of the examination table while we sat on chairs, and it made him look funny.  What a dumb thing to remember.

He used the time frame of 3-6 months.  IF my ovulation gets back on track after 14 YEARS of being on the pill.  If we're not "successful" by March, I go on Clomid.  Just like that.

You know, when you're little, and it's your turn to play "the mom" during a game of "house", you put the baby under your shirt and prance around until the others in the household feel it's time to give birth and then you just pull it out and- TADA!  Baby!  Growing up I was always the mom in these games.  Probably because I was the biggest- or because I was the oldest- or because I was the first to run to someone when they got hurt- (except for the one time I bit Jenna Blain through her shoe because she laughed at me when I fell...but that was in self defense, I swear!)

As an aside, I never heard my husband giggle like he did today!  Oh man he is SO nervous!!  And it was oddly attractive and scary all at once.  What if he can't support me like I need to be supported?  What if I'm too cranky or moany or bitchy and he just can't take it any more?  He's a good man, but even good men have their limit.  But today EVERYTHING was funny to him- and it wasn't a hearty man-laugh, it was a girly giggle.  It is good to know he is as scared as I am.

So that's it.  Let nature be nature and do what nature was created to do, which is to reproduce and make more nature.  Or as the doctor said- Don't over complicate it.  Just have lots of sex.

First day of the rest of my...week.

So today is kind of special for two reasons. 

Reason #1- I'm starting this blog

Reason #2- My husband and I are trying to conceive this year.

So I've started this blog so I don't drive him entirely insane with all of my musings and wonderings and general nonsense that I come up with. 

It's written to nobody imparticular.  I don't intend to get famous off of it.  I don't expect Lifetime TV to come knocking on my door, asking for the exclusive rights to my pregnancy journey.

My deal is that I have PCOS, and have had it since 14...so now at 28, I've decided it's now or never.  So do I WANT a baby?  Yes.  Am I ready for a baby?  Eh, probably.  I understand the baby concept, I understand that you can't give it back and all that.  But I'm scared out of my mind.

So I will blog.  So I don't have to say to my darling husband- Is this real, or did I make this up in my mind?

No, I'm not THAT Elizabeth George.