The Honeymoon Trimester!

I don't know about you, but my honeymoon consisted of CONSIDERABLY less nausea than this, but I'm hoping that will wear off soon.  (Three weeks no pukey!  Huzzah!)

Second trimester means I can rest easier, but pray harder.  The baby will be able to hear me soon, and hear his/her daddy too.  Also it gets fingerprints.  Which I guess is good if it gets in any trouble, and they need to book it.  Because it doesn't have any teeth, so dental records are out of the question.

This month is the month for everyone to visit.  This Sunday is Easter, which means the big Facebook and church reveal.  Then Tom and Cathy will come for a while...and then as soon as they leave, Paul and Bri will be down for a few days.  Basically wash the sheets, and on with the show.

I've been wanting to post people's reactions to the news of SB, but it seems the computer doesn't want to upload my videos.  So I'll post some of the screen shots from the texting variety, and that will be a good memory.

I really DO like being pregnant...

Maybe I've painted a really poor picture of what I think of pregnancy, but now that I'm feeling better, it's not that bad anymore.  In fact, I'm coming to really love and accept my growing belly.  And I feel like I'm in some not-so-secret club, where we eat a lot and people open doors for us. 

My friend keeps asking me to tell her all about pregnancy.  Even the bad stuff.  So I try and tell her what I can think of.  Like how you tend to pee so much, wiping becomes frustrating.  How you throw up so much, simple things like swallowing pills and brushing your teeth take official acts of congress to get through them.  And how if you can make it through all the physical trials, the emotional stuff will begin to weigh on you.  Will I lose it?  Will I sneeze and it will just pop out?  What if I'm a horrible mom?  What if my parenting style doesn't match my husbands?  What if my husband can't take my mood swings and up and leaves?  What if I get depression after all of this?  Am I being too much of a bitch?  Will my husband still find me attractive after all this?  Will my body ever be the same again?

One of the things I must stop doing is equating a growing belly with all the pounds I feel I'm packing on.  In reality, I don't even look as pregnant as I think I do (probably because so much of my time is spent in large sweatshirts and heavy layers so people don't talk or think too much.  I've been going to the gym, I've been walking, I haven't been pigging out, goodness knows.  I'm just trying to avoid the mindset that I'm going to come out of this looking like a tank.  I'm going to be fine.  I haven't actually gained any weight, and I'm three months in...I'll be fine.

In other news, I ate 6 whole inches of sub last night.  It was a record for me.

On Saturday, Lauren and I are going to go maternity shopping together.  Now THIS I'm excited about!  We're going to sport our bumps and waddle around like mother ducks.  It's going to be fab!

I'm actually the happiest I've been in such a long time.  For once my brain isn't focused on ME ME ME, it's focused on US.  My FAMILY.  Just can't wait to meet out baby :)

Oh What a Night

The thing about pregnancy, is that you get REALLY in tune with your body and your bodily functions.  You're keenly aware of the last time you threw up, the last time you pooped (and the consistency) what color your pee is (and you lose track on that frequency, although it's a lot) how much mucus you're producing on any given day, and how exactly all that differs from when you were NOT pregnant, just 12 short weeks ago.

And gas.

Your life is much gassier.

Which is why I was awake 4+ times last night, thinking I was having contractions and really it was just miserable gas.  I tried stretching, I tried walking it off, I went to the bathroom.  Every time I thought it had passed and I finally went back to sleep...there it was again!  (And this doesn't count my regular pee wake up call).  So today I'm dragging myself through life.

The Handsome Husband even woke up long enough to say, "What's wrong, Whoot?" But he has no recollection of it this morning.  Oh well, thought that counts!

PS:  May 25th!!!!!  Boy George or Girl George?  Oh how I want to share our beautiful names!!!!!!!!!!  Chinese calendar says its a girl...but we'll see.

Living on a Prayer

Today is 12 weeks.  Today is FINALLY 12 weeks.  I am so, so, so thankful for being pregnant for 12 weeks.  The vomiting and everything is pretty much over (it's been more than a week since my last spew) and now I just pee in excess.  Next week is Easter and "The Big Day"- meaning- we get to tell the world, and everyone will know.  And there will be no hiding anymore.

Which let me tell you- it's getting hard to hide this bump.

Every day has been enveloped in prayer.  Every day I pray for just ONE MORE DAY with SB.  Every day I want to just wrap my arms around my belly and never let any harm come to this little two inch miracle.  How can you be so in love with something that's 2 inches long?

My Handsome Husband has eased his way into fatherhood.  He is growing into the most compassionate man I've ever seen in him.  On Sunday at church he held little Kaden, and he was so happy.  Kaden noisily chewed on Andy's fingers and they chattered about how tall he was going to be, and how strong his legs were.  This morning, Andy wished me happy 12 weeks.  I could have stood and cried.  I think I might have to later.

If you don't like it, wait a minute!

The thing I'm noticing about pregnancy is that things can change overnight.  Literally- you go to bed one way and wake up another.

While I was sleeping last night, I'm sure someone inserted a bicycle pump into my belly button and started pumping.  I realize that I'm not "showing" per say, but I am full of The Bloat, which just never goes away.

One night you feel fine, and the next thing you know, you're puking.

One night you sleep like a baby...ah, ha, I get how that's funny.  Cuz babies don't sleep.  And the next night you're up to pee every 30 minutes.

Oh, and you pee when you sneeze.  Or cough.  Or let it go too long and hold it.  It's embarrassing.

I'm finding that if my belly is never empty, I don't feel as bad.  If I'm constantly snacking, it never gets AS bad.  But if I skip a meal?  No way.  Nothing good comes from that.  Which is funny because your whole life you're watching portion control and what and when and how much you put food into your mouth.  And although it still counts WHAT you eat, the when and the how much changes drastically.

Today I have a doctor's appointment, and I see the midwife.  Sandy, I think her name is.  We're reviewing blood tests from last time, and talking about healthy habits.  I'd like to bring to her attention that throwing up without relief is NOT a healthy habit, and something should be done for the good of women-kind.

Also, I'd like to take all the women who say to me, "Oh, I wasn't sick with ANY of my kids!" And just slap them around a little.

Our baby is a fig!

Happy 11 weeks (yesterday) to SB!  It is as big as a fig.  This week is the EVERY important week that "it" becomes a HE or a SHE!  Oh my goodness, I almost revealed the names just then.  Can I mention how obsessed I am with our chosen names?  Sometimes at work I write them out- first in printing, then in cursive, then in bubble letters, then like a child would write them, then with my left hand, then with a pencil, then with a pen...  Don't tell anyone.  It's embarrassing.  Sometimes I wonder if the girl's name is too long, but then I consider that it's really no longer than MY full name.  And it's DEFINITELY not as long as the boys name.  Poor thing will need to put a period at the end of it, because it's like a sentence.  We'll have to teach him how to write small :)

My appetite is growing, but my dislike for all foods in general is NOT.  So I'm hungry...but not FOR anything.  Last night I ate two pieces of pizza, but no salad.  Second trimester I'm supposed to eat 200 extra calories a day.  Are you kidding me?  I'm lucky if I hit 1000 calories in a day.

Yesterday Andy and I watched a video on epidurals.

Yikes.

That's one big needle.

But I think it's a choice I'm going to go for.  Because the one thing they say is that it reduces your anxiety.  I can tolerate pain (yeah, she says that now) but I can't handle being so scared I can hardly catch my breath.  If I can breathe and talk my way through the pain, I can deal, but I don't like being terrified.  It lasts much longer in my subconcience.  In the end, we'll see.

At one point in the live birth video yesterday, the baby's head was out, and the rest of the body was still in.  They sucked out it's little nose and mouth and it started wailing.  Wow wow wow...wow.  In AND out.  Insane.  And then she gave one more good push, and out it came!  Andy said I was squeezing his shoulder while we were watching and that I should probably stop.

One thing I'm excited about is I think Andy's going to be a great cheerleader for me in the room.  He promised to hold me while I'm getting the big needle.  I realize he's bracing himself for this just as much as I am.  While I'm thinking, "Can I do this?"  He's thinking, "Can I do this?"  I think the answer is, "Yes we can.  Together."  I'm sure we're not the first terrified parents, and I'm positive we won't be the last.

What a journey.

A long and winding road...

I didn't puke for three days.

My mother in law called to see how I was, and I joyfully announced that I'm pretty sure I was done with the trials of the first trimester.  At 11 weeks on Tuesday, surely the pressure was about to lift, and with it the constant frustration of carrying a paper towel and plastic bag. 

I was cooking again!  My handsome husband's cheeks were no longer caving in!  Oh the things I was cooking!  Lasagna.  Tomato soup.  Homemade bread.  SURELY we're on the home stretch.

Nope.

Saturday night I was feeling queasy.  I took a walk with Alex and Alyssa, breathing in extra deep to thwart the feeling in my stomach.  I drank peppermint tea.  I gulped a little Emetrol.  I ate pretzels.  And then, like a fool, I ate fruit.  Melon and pineapple and grapes and oranges and strawberries.  Not in excess, mind you.  Maybe one of each.  What in the WORLD was I thinking?!?

The list of places I threw up before I actually made it to the toilet was extensive.  I ended cleaning it up from the sheets, off the walls, Andy's nightstand, the carpet, the hallway floor, the bathroom floor, and the SIDE of the toilet, my hair, the shower curtain...  I was trying to hold it in, and all the while just kept swallowing it and puking it back up and I couldn't breathe and I was running as fast as I could to the bathroom.  I was sure I was going to asphyxiate and that was going to be it.

It was a horrendous experience.  I will most likely never forget it.  And neither will you, now that you've read it and winced.  (Hey, I promised you bodily fluids, didn't I?)  This is as real as pregnancy gets.  When people ask me how it's going, I tell them honestly, "I'll enjoy it more when I'm not so sick."

Sunday morning I woke up to find I had burst all the capillaries in my face, chin and neck.  Evidently this is common in pregnancy because your body is pumping so much extra blood through your body that your capillaries become stretched so thin that they burst if you exert too much force.  Who knew, really?

As an aside, I want to mention how loving and compassionate my husband was.  He's really working hard at meeting where I am on this stuff, and the fact that he's trying shows me he really does love me the way I know he does.  He's a GOOD man.

So today I will start the count again.  Yesterday; one day without puking.  Check.  Like at a factory!  -- days without injury.  Done.

Tomorrow is 11 weeks!  Bring it!