I SLEPT!

Wahoo!

Although, I'm pretty sure the Handsome Husband has had his fair share of me not feeling well.  I'm trying to feel better, believe me.  It's no walk in the park.

So as we count down the days until our appointment, (of course I have something planned every single day, so I'm not sitting around counting the amount of times I go to the bathroom, and ponder all the things I'm not hungry for...) I've been thinking about how best to tell his parents.

Perhaps something like this?

I mean, who doesn't like a used pregnancy test on their cookie cake?  I know I'm a fan.



I had a dream...

Last night I THINK I may have slept the night through.  I think.  But I did wake up well rested this morning.  I threw up my "supper" (1/2 a soft boiled potato, 1 applesauce, 1 ice pop) and then I was somewhat fine after all that.  I scrubbed my bathroom (with baking soda and vinegar) and I did some laundry, folded it and put it away, and then I was in bed at 8:30.

This morning, somewhere between the first time my alarm went off and the time I actually got up, I had the most amazing little dream about SB.  But only it was an actual baby.  And she was a girl.  And she was in love with her daddy :)  She was cooing at him and babbling to him, and my heart was so light!  And she had a Minnie Mouse stroller, and we were rolling her around this park with all these other babies, and we were just...so...happy.  If I can have a few more dreams like this, it might make the puking more bareable.

As another good point to make- today we are at 8 weeks :)  Next week is our first prenatal visit.  SB looks a little like this:

Meanwhile, I can feel my insides stretching out and moving around to make room.  SB is about the size of a jelly bean- about 1/4 of an inch long.

We're starting to make a list of who will find out first.  We decided the people to find out after the first PN visit are going to be the people we'd want to surround us if for some reason we lost the child.  That's going to include Pastor Bob and Joan, Aunt Michele and Katie, David, Tara and the children, Kristi and Keith, and Andy would like to tell Brian.  For everyone else, they can wait until week 13/14, until we know we're out of the woods.

We will leave for RI the day of our first PN appointment, and I don't mind saying that Andy is REALLY nervous to tell his family.  For whatever reason it was easier to tell my family, but there's no saying how his is going to react.  His brother once told me, "You'd better keep taking those pills, because I'm not ready to be an uncle yet, and I don't need you doing that to me."  So you can tell, we're not quite sure what to expect up there.

Anyway.  Happy 8 weeks, SB.  Please stay healthy and strong.  We love you very much :)



Just putting it out there...

I am miserable.

I am making everyone around me miserable.

I am tired.

I am whiney.

I have a snius infection/bronchitis/otter cough, whatever you want to call it.


I think my poor husband has had enough.


I hope I feel better soon....

Don't mind me, it's just my uterus expanding.

So I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole entire world knows I'm pregnant.  I feel SO obvious!  Like some day my boss is going to walk into my desk area and say, "We've been noticing you've been wearing maternity jeans to work.  Is there anything you'd like to tell us?" 

I wish that we could keep it our secret, but it's going to pop out here sooner or later.  More sooner than later.  None of my real pants fit any more since I have a big case of The Bloat.  Ugh, what a pain.  Which is something, you know, how bloated I am?  Because I pee every, like, minute.

I can't eat.  That's the other thing.  I get a hungry spell right before lunch, and I TRY to eat, but it just sits in my mouth.  I haven't been in my kitchen for days.  Last night is the first night I didn't puke all week, so that's progress.  My mom suggested chopping up my vitamins REALLY small, and taking them with juice.  So I tried that, and so far it worked.  As in, it worked last night.  So maybe it will work again tonight.

The only thing that settles are popscicles and rice crackers (or Puffin Corn...) So I've been eating just that.  AND I've got this killer sinus infection.  (Thanks mom, dad, April AND Andy, and I'm pretty sure my coworker for handing that to me).  I haven't slept in two solid weeks.  I will wake up through the night and either have to pee, puke, recover from a nightmare or cough/take a drink/blow my nose.

My mom and sister came over last night to keep me company while Andy worked late.  I was REALLY thankful.  April rubbed my back, and I believe told SB not to go into theatre (she said even though SB doesn't have ears, it could feel it in it's heart).  Mom helped me remake my bed and folded laundry/put it away.  It was great.

I am just so stinking exhausted.  Not eating, not sleeping, making a placenta and a human...it takes it out of ya. 

Andy took out the trash, did all the wash, cleaned and aired out the kitchen (can't STAND that room right now!)  I love him more than there are words to express.  He said I should remember all the nice things he's done while I'm screaming at him in 6 months.  I told him I'd try :)

But I'm SO thankful.  SOOO thankful.  Every time I lay down I ask God to carry my baby through this pregnancy and keep it healthy.  I've said it before, but it's worth repeating every post.  In a few weeks I'll be reporting that I'm up at night because it's kicking me in the bladder or ribs, and I will be just as thankful then as I am now.

Tomorrow we're going shopping for SB!  So excited!

Feeling better because I'm feeling sick...?

ANOTHER rough night last night.  As soon as I ate supper, I knew it was coming up again.  But after my little mental rush yesterday, I'm glad to be feeling the way I do.  Because it means that the baby is causing my hormones to go wacky, which means everything is normal :)

My friend Krista put it this way- you're always going to worry, no matter if the baby is in your belly or in your arms.  So draw on your faith, and look for little victories along the way.  Don't concentrate on what MAY happen, concentrate on what is happening NOW inside you.

So that's my mantra.  And I hope this baby someday knows how much I love it!  And how I choked down horse pill prenatal vitamins daily for it, and how I puked my guts out on a regular basis for it.  Now they don't make a mother's day card for THAT!  :)

Paranoia is taking over!

Recently, all I can think about is losing the baby.  I'm afraid to move.  I'm afraid to sneeze.  I'm afraid to exercise.  Every time I have a little discharge or a cramp or even a bad thought, it's like I rush to the bathroom to check if I'm bleeding.

NOTHING is wrong.  It's in my brain.

Then I open up my browser at work, only to find the headline that Bethenny Frankel just came out that she suffered a miscarriage.  It never occurs to me that she's over 40, and that she had complications with Brynn's delivery...only that huge M word, flashing on my screen.

Andy went to see the doctor yesterday, and the doctor mentioned to him (after referring to him as "the sharp shooter" and giving him a high five...) "Well, after 13 weeks you can get REALLY excited!"

???

Stop talking about it, already!

Women with PCOS, who are taking metformin through their pregnancy drop their miscarriage rate from 58% to 11%.  I just have all these images of fast forwarding nine months and having Lauren and Kari there with their bouncing babies, and I'm just avoiding them at all costs because I lost mine and we can't get it back together again.

Okay, Libbie.  Enough.

Last night I puked. For the second or third time since finding out. It was oddly reassuring, actually. I was concerned that I was nauseous, but I could've been MORE nauseous. So last night it just HIT me, and then just that fast I was fine. Almost like SB was going- "It's okay, mom! I'm here!"

My handsome husband is so amazing to me.  He still thinks I'm beautiful.  :)  He got me water last night as I was bent over the bowl.  Afterwards I laid in bed and prayed for our baby and prayed for my husband and for our little family.  I'm blessed beyond reason.

To pee or not to pee...

There's really no question here.  I've considered adult diapers as an option, because it takes SO MUCH EFFORT to get to our bathroom when you're on the sofa.  My bladder wakes me up in the morning, usually an irritating 15 or so minutes before my alarm is supposed to.  Good thing they don't keep track of how many times I go during the day at work!  At least, I hope they're not noticing...

Ugh.  Cutting this post short because I have to go...well...you know.